I Think I'll Call It Private Practice
by stephyswan
Summary: Amelia visits LA. (post S14 of GA)


**What is with the lack of private practice fanfiction? Makes me very sad :( Also I know this one-shot was kind of cringe but I didn't know what else to add to it...**

**#bringaddisonandcharlotteandviolettoseattle**

**Anyways... here's my take on how things are going in LA...**

**Set between Greys season 14 and 15**

The flight was short. If you flew United, it took exactly three hours, one hundred and eighty minutes, to go from The Space Needle to the Hollywood sign. If you flew American, the flight was three hours and five minutes. One hundred and eighty-five minutes.

Amelia chose American for the peace of mind; she needed the extra five minutes of peace and quiet.

It wasn't that she didn't love her Los Angeles family- she _adored _them. She missed them. She missed getting texts from Charlotte reminding her to hit up a meeting (as annoying as they were), pictures from Addison of her adorable and quickly growing son, and even texts from Violet, a shrink she had actually grown to love.

She had kept talking about herself to a minimum; her marriage to Owen, her divorce from Owen, her brain tumor. Addison and Meredith were apparently Facebook friends and sometimes chatted about what was going on in their lives. Amelia had found out about this when Addison had called her after her diagnosis. Apparently, when the husband dies, the current wife and ex-wife bond over the common loss. Hell, that's all she could think of, anyway.

The minute she went through the gate, she almost immediately spotted Jake standing with a much bigger than she remembered Henry in his arms. He smiled at her widely and gathered her in a hug.

"We've missed you around here." He declared in her ear. She gently pulled him off and turned her attention to Henry in hopes that Jake wouldn't ask her any questions. She still wasn't ready yet. The fact that she had been almost pregnant again was eating at her brain. She didn't call Jake. Jake had stood by her side the first time when her baby, her unicorn baby, had had no brain and donated his organs- cutting him open for parts.

She hadn't been back to Los Angeles in the years since she had run away from her engagement to James. She still felt awful about that, but she felt relief at the thought of being free from marriage. Things with Owen were complicated, to say the least.

"Everyone is super excited to see you. Addison is planning a dinner at the house, and-"

"Jake... please stop talking," Amelia quietly begged. "I can't do this. If I go there, if I go see those people, I'm going to miss them, and leaving them is going to be hard and then I am going to take drugs and-"

"Woah, woah. I know living in Los Angeles was a hard time for you, and being in Seattle probably gave you some different perspective, but you have to remember that it was us that fought for you. We had an intervention for you. We fought by your side for your baby. Seattle might be great, I don't really know as you haven't actually said anything about it, but LA is your family. So if being here makes you uncomfortable, then remember it's because we love you."

Amelia shut up, playing with Henry in hopes of Jake dropping the topic.

He did, for the whole ride to Seaside Health and Wellness. It was weird, being back there felt weird. It was her home.

But Seattle was her home too.

She had gotten to work under her brother for a while, which was actually a pain in her ass, she had gotten close to both Maggie and Meredith (although she and Meredith had a very, ahem, special relationship), lost her brother, gotten married, gotten divorced, had a brain tumor...

In Los Angeles, she had fallen off the wagon hard, woke up to a dead man in her bed, and had an anencephalic baby.

The first person to hug her was naturally the shrink.

"Amelia!" Violet smiled from the doorway of her office, running out to greet her with a hug. Amelia would admit, she and Violet were not the closest of friends, but Amelia had put the whole practice on tea duty after Pete died, and Amelia had told her to call her so they could watch crappy American television on Amelia's couch while eating ice cream out of the carton in their sweatpants.

And they had gotten closer before Amelia left. Naomi had moved back to the practice, which meant Violet was once again tossed to the side. Because Charlotte and Cooper were occupied with the cooplets, it left the two of them best friendless.

Amelia put up her arms to hug her back. "Hey, Violet. How's Lucas?"

"He's good. Eight years old!"

Next to greet her was Sam, who also greeted her with a hug. Then came Cooper.

Walking down the halls of the practice, what surprised her was the sight of her office still being empty, and Pete's filled by none other than the children of the doctors at the practice. It was there she spotted her junkie bff with one of the cooplets. She almost wanted to cry, the little blonde babies weren't premies anymore! They were all five years old, walking and talking, with a little bit of southern drawl.

"Is that Amelia I see?" Came the southern drawl Amelia had missed more than she cared to admit. Charlotte was undoubtedly one of the best friends she had ever had. The blonde jumped up from her spot on the ground to hug the brunette.

When Charlotte King hugs you, you know you're important.

"Mama, who's that?" One of the blondes, they were almost too alike for Amelia to distinguish, asked.

"Why, Georgia, this is your Aunt Amelia. Remember, we told you she moved to Seattle." Charlotte turned her head to face the neurosurgeon, "for reasons I will never understand. Come give her a hug, girls."

All three of the similar blondes got up to hug this woman that was supposedly their aunt. Two more kids, one of them being Henry, and the other assumingly the younger Bennett child, remained playing their blocks on the floor.

Mason and Betsy came strolling in a coupon minutes later, clutching their backpacks on their backs and laughing about something. The two of them greeted Amelia, although Mason seemed unsure as to whether or not Amelia was still a druggie. Betsy furrowed her brow but still hugged the woman nonetheless.

It was when Addison came in that she lost it.

It wasn't even Addison, she didn't know why she was triggered- okay, that was a lie, she did.

Logically she knew that it wasn't Addison's fault what happened with Christopher, but Addison was the one who stopped her world that day. Telling her that her baby had no brain. And she had tried to support her, as much as she pushed away.

"Addison." It came out harsher than intended.

"Amelia!"

Addison hugged her. It was awkward.

This was her freaking sister for goodness sake. She was the older sister Amelia had always wanted, and she was so damn ungrateful.

Where did she start?

She must have been making a face because pretty soon Amelia was being dragged by Violet into the office.

"Amelia. What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong! Can't a girl go see her friends and colleagues without it being wrong?"

Violet shook her head. "Don't lie to me. Tell me what's wrong. Are you drinking? Pills? Did you slip?"

Amelia was quick to respond. "No," she bit her lip.

"What is wrong then? You know you can tell me anything."

"Owen." Was the only thing that came out of her mouth.

"Aren't you divorced? Brain tumor marriage?" Violet only knew what Addison had told her, which wasn't that much. She just wanted to prevent any sister drama from happening before Amelia even hit her first hour.

"Yes. But, um, we're kind of living together and raising kids together. He has Leo and I have Betty. Everything is great, but, uh, I'm scared. I'm terrified. I'm terrified that if I let this little boy into my life, I'll be hurting Christopher."

"Christopher?"

"My baby." She croaked.

"Oh." Violet understood now. "Well, I..." she swallowed. "Lucas was cut out of me and I couldn't even be with him for such a long time. I couldn't look at other babies either. You're still his mother and you always will be."

Amelia didn't respond. How could she respond to that? She couldn't.

...

Amelia's favorite part about living in LA, minus the people, was sitting on Addison's deck letting the wind flow through her hair and listening to the waves. She could lay out there all night. She kind of wanted to. It was peaceful. She thought about everything way too much and probably needed an off button, but this was relaxing. She could forget about all those things for now.

"I thought I'd find you out here." This time it was not a redhead, but rather a blonde with a very particular Alabama Southern accent. She let out a deep breath.

"Whatcha thinkin' about?" She asked.

"Life. How crazy it is. How I came to LA on a case and met my family here and fell off the wagon and got pregnant with a dead drug addict's baby and then moved to Seattle to escape an engagement to get married to another guy and then divorce him because apparently all of my actions were caused by a giant brain tumor and now I'm raising the alcoholic drug addict mother of my ex-husband's foster baby. And I lost my three years of sobriety over Meredith Grey, my dead brother's wife getting attacked because I didn't want to deal with her that day."

"I've missed your babbling." Was Charlotte's immediate response. "And you learned from your mistake. You're almost to three years again and this time you will make it even farther because you are strong, Amelia. All of those things you just said only prove how strong you are."

"I've missed you, Charlotte."

"I've missed you too, Amelia."

...

The dinner that was planned was absolutely pleasant. One of Amelia's fondest memories was coming to Thanksgiving dinner at Addison's after getting out of rehab and eating dry turkey with the people that she loved. That was up there with Addison's wedding.

She was avoiding Addison, admittedly, and Addison noticed. It made her a little sad that she could tell Addison was hurt but didn't want to ask. Why couldn't they just enjoy each other's company? Why did Amelia always have to feel like this? With her sister, who had been through it all with her, she couldn't communicate. She was so mad at herself.

She played with the triplets some more and being with them only reminded her how much she missed Leo and cuddling him. Betty was almost a grown up and didn't like any of that mushy stuff. She was pretty anti mush herself, but lately, she could feel herself getting mushier. It was from being around so many kids all the time.

"Amy, why don't you live here?" Asked one of the little blondes.

It almost pained her to hear those words. She had thought about coming back so many times. But Seattle had Meredith and as much as she hated to admit it, she loved her sisters and getting to be a part of her nephew and nieces growing up. It was one thing she could do for Derek.

She did want to come back. But coming back meant dealing with things she couldn't without a bottle.

And going back to Seattle meant thinking about Betty and Owen and Leo.

It was all a mess.

"I'm a doctor like your mommy and daddy, only I work far away now. I cut open people's brains to fix them!" She grinned at the little girl, who grinned back.

"I wanna be a doctor when I grow up." She smiled cheekily. She wondered if the other two and Mason and Henry all felt like they had to become doctors.

"If that's what you want to do. You can be anything you want to be. Always remember that."

"I love you, Aunt Amy."

She hesitated for a few seconds, before making her decision. "I love you too, kid."

...

She was back there, laying in Addison's lawn chair again, listening to the waves crash against the shore and letting the wind hit her. She needed to let go. She had let go a long time ago, but she needed to be able to talk to her sister and come to LA without feeling this constant lump in her stomach.

"Hey there, sweet boy. I know you're up there chilling with your dad, and you haven't met me, at least apart from 9 months of me carrying you around and the 40 minutes I got to hold you, but... I just want you to know that I love you. I love you so much Christopher and I am so sorry I never got to know you. But you will always be my first baby."

She didn't realize she was sobbing until she felt someone's arm around her. The wind continued to blow and the waves crashed upon the shore, and Amelia was back with her sister.

Meredith was her sister and Maggie was her sister, but Addie would always be the first and the oldest.

"Ella would have been a teenager now. Red hair. My one biological baby. I chose to... that was my decision. And I didn't have any more kids biologically. But Henry is my son. And this Leo and Betty, they can be your kids. You're not a monster for wanting to love them, Amelia. They need your love. Christopher would understand. You didn't choose to give him up. You didn't ask for all of those things to happen. You made some bad choices, sure, but sometimes you just get the bad card in the stack. You get to choose your hand now, though."

"I am so sorry, Addison, that I blamed you for what happened and I shut you out when you wanted to be there for me. I'm still a walking train wreck, six years later. I will always be Hurricane Amelia."

"Amelia." Addison bit, "you're my sister and I'm always going to be there for you when you need me. And you're not Hurricane Amelia anymore. You solved the impossible tumor with a brain tumor in your head, you didn't lose your sobriety over losing your brother, and you're helping two kids that need you. I'm so proud."

And she let Addison lay down on the seat next to her. She always felt a little safer there with Addison. It was a safety that almost rivaled Derek's. She was just a kid when they had met, she had always kept her safe.

She loved her sister.

"I have to go back to Seattle. My kids need me."

Addison nodded. "Damn straight they do."


End file.
